No, anything but the buttons!

Na ja, for those of you who don’t know what’s been going on here in Stuttgart, I’ve been too busy to write, because someone’s been trying to break into my apartment.  For this reason truffles have not seemed very important in the last two weeks, but I’m pretty calm at the moment after we’ve had our lock replaced and Si has given himself Schäferhund (German Shepard) Status.  His plan is to bite anyone who tries anything funny.  Either that or annex Germany to Texas and live out his cowboy fantasies.  Germans seem to have a lot of them, I’m finding out.  

However this doesn’t mean we’ve been fungus-less.  Mushrooms have become a regular part of our diet, and I’ve discovered a number of useful things about them.  The first thing you should know is that you can cook button mushrooms in a non-stick pan without any oil.  I swear.  All you have to do is wash them and cut off the tips of the stems before throwing them on the pan on medium heat.  Don’t dry them beforehand.  The result is a nice smokey mushroom with much more flavor than if you’d doused them in half a bottle of oil.  Mushrooms are notorious for having the appetite of a vampire going through human rehab when it comes to oil, so they’re a lot healthier this way to.  My only problem is that Jamie Oliver said he was going to come get me if I used button mushrooms for his mushroom risotto.  However, I think he’s giving them a bum rap.  Even buttons have potential!  Besides, my budget just doesn't allow for "dried porcini mushrooms."  Buttons are just fine, Jamie!

Now, as to the risotto.  I’d advise attempting this with risotto rice, or some kind of quick-cooking rice.  Not with the wild brown rice I used--or else you’ll have a repeat of the scenario Si and I experience not long ago: 

Si: “How long does the rice take to cook?  It smells good.” 

Me:  “Not long--you have to keep stirring it until it absorbs all of the broth.” 

Si: “Okay.  I’ll wait to cook the fish then.”

20 minutes later....

Si:  “I’m so hungry--I’m going to throw the fish in the oven now.” 

Me:  “Okay.  I’m sure the risotto is almost done with it’s fungus-filled marination.” 

45 minutes later:  

Si: (Has morphed into a grumpy bear by this point.) “I haaaaaaaave to eat something. I’m going to cook a Spiegelei (fried egg).   Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  

Me: (Slowly backing away from the stove).  “Okaaaaaaaaay.”  

15 Minutes Later....

Si:  (Munching on a Spiegelei auf Brot (fried egg on bread) with a worried expression on his face).  “Bin ich im Hundenhaus (Am I in the dog house?)”

Me:  Umm,  no.  People are allowed to get grumpy when they are hungry in this apartment.   

Si:  Das ist sehr beruhigend (That is very reassuring).  Entschuldigung.  
Me: Macht nichts.  

5 Minuates later.....

Me:  The rice is......crunchy.  

Si:  Yes, it is.  But that’s okay.  It still tastes good! (Crunch, crunch, crunch.)
Me: You're a very wise man, Si.  Crunch, crunch, crunch.